


Steel Me Away

by Noworlater



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Basically a rewrite of the first episode, Other, Remington Steele AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22925635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noworlater/pseuds/Noworlater
Summary: Juno Steel’s private detective agency was failing. As it turns out, not a lot of people have faith that a failed cop can be a successful private eye. Luckily, Juno has the solution: create a fake superior to be the namesake of the company and do all the work himself in the shadows. It’s a system that works until a mystery man walks in and assumes the identity of Mr. Glass himself, stealing Juno's heart along the way.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel, Rita & Juno Steel
Comments: 11
Kudos: 57





	1. Steel A Mystery To Me

_ Try this for a deep, dark secret: The great detective, Rex Glass? He doesn’t exist. I invented him. Follow: my time with the HCPD had trained me to be a detective. So I became a PI and put my name on an office. But absolutely nobody knocked down my door. Hiring a failed cop seemed so...irresponsible. So I invented a superior. A decidedly flawless superior. Suddenly there were cases around the block. It was working like a charm. Until the day he walked in, with his beautiful eyes and mysterious past. And before I knew it, he assumed Rex Glass’s identity. Now I do the work, and he takes the bows. It’s a dangerous way to live, but as long as people buy it, I can get the job done. We never mix business with pleasure…well almost never. I don’t even know his real name! _

-

Juno sighed as he looked at the mountain of paperwork sitting in front of him. Any other day, he would crack open the bottle of whiskey sitting at the bottom of his desk drawer and hope the paperwork would magically complete itself. Unfortunately, that was what he had done every other day this week. And believe it or not, the paperwork was still sitting there, with the completion of each document becoming more urgent with each passing second. Juno sighed again and settled into his chair for what was shaping up to be a long evening. 

“MR. STEEL!” His secretary Rita buzzed from the other room. Despite being a technological genius, the one thing Rita couldn’t seem to figure out was how to decrease the volume on the intercom. Oh well, saved from the nightmare paper pile by the buzz he supposed. “MS KANAGAWA IS CALLING AGAIN TO DOUBLE CHECK ABOUT THE STATUS OF THE SECURITY DETAIL FOR THE EGG. SHE’S INSISTING ON HAVING MR. GLASS THERE  _ PERSONALLY  _ TO ENSURE ITS SAFE DELIVERY. WE REALLY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS BOSS!” Then again, maybe ‘saved’ was far too optimistic. 

Juno resisted the urge to sigh again. That was the problem with inventing your own boss. He could sign every dotted line on behalf of the ever elusive Mr. Glass and come up with a thousand excuses to explain how Rex Glass was just too impossibly busy to be there right now, but when a client insisted on meeting him in person, that’s when things got tricky. Despite assuring Cassandra Kanagawa repeatedly that Mr. Glass would be observing from afar and that Juno had it well handled, she continued to insist upon Mr. Glass’s direct involvement.

Juno had met the Kanagawas on a previous case, and suffice to say, he didn’t love the thought of working for them again. Honestly, after that case he had determined that if he ever laid eyes on them again it would be too soon. But it had been a couple of days since the agency had its last case and the high profile that came with anything the Kanagawas did was worth the mess that also always came with anything the Kanagawas did. This particular case involved the protection of a golden jewel encrusted egg known as the Egg of Purus- think Faberge but more intricate, elaborate, and worth about triple the creds. It was on loan to the Kanagawas as part of a promotional event for their new stream, “Treasures of the Earth.” The show was shaping up to be less bloody than what they typically went for, but it was Cass’s special project and with all the superstitions surrounding ancient Earth artifacts, there were still plenty of opportunities for disaster. The egg of Purus may not have been surrounded in superstition like say the Mask of Grimpotheuthis, but its history wasn’t as pure as its name implied. The egg had been stolen from each of the last three owners, up until about five years ago when the Earth government managed to recover it and kept it locked up since. All three previous owners had wound up dead, and Juno was employed to make sure that the Kanagawas didn't become the fourth. 

“MR. STEEL, MS KANAGAWA IS STILL ON THE PHONE AND I REALLY THINK YOU OUGHT TO GET OVER THERE REAL FAST ‘CUZ SHE SOUNDED REALLY ANGRY AND...” 

“Yes, Rita. Goddamn it I will deal with it.” Usually when a client insisted on meeting Mr. Glass in person, the agency would submit their apologies, a bill for services rendered, and start looking for a new case. But the agency needed this job. A glowing recommendation from them and the press that comes with this case would fill his office with clients for years to come. Juno could handle this. Just a quick visit to Cass. Assure her the famous detective Rex Glass would indeed be there. A couple well placed phone calls and clever lies, and she would be none the wiser. Juno had already spent months convincing people that this fake Rex was real. The Kanagawas were more clever than Juno would prefer, but how hard could it really be to go that extra step to make a fake man appear to be real in person? Keep the egg safe, keep the reputation of the agency clean, and don't let anyone find out Detective Glass is a myth. How hard could it be?


	2. Be Steel My Heart

Juno was shuffling papers into his briefcase and throwing on his coat when a man strode into the office. “Listen buddy, come back later. I don’t have time to-” Juno’s words caught in his throat as he looked up and got a good view of the man who had just entered the room. 

Juno tried not to let his jaw drop. The man standing in front of him was gorgeous. Long slender legs that went on for days, or at least they would if time was also a measurement of distance. His eyes sparkled in the dull office light and he had a look on his face that could only spell danger. The smile he flashed was sharp enough to be deadly and even from one glance Juno could tell this was a man who would either stab you in the back if you turned away or fulfill every wild fantasy you ever had about love. Hell, maybe both. Basically, he was everything Juno looked for in a man and regardless of his intentions or affiliations, that made him dangerous. He was also talking and was already a couple of sentences in when Juno realized he should probably be paying more attention to the words coming out of that mouth than of the shape of it. 

"Ah the infamous Detective Steel, a pleasure to meet your acquaintance at last. Your reputation precedes you.” 

Juno managed to gather himself before saying, “Yeah, well, don't believe everything you hear." 

The man chuckled. “Don’t worry detective, all good things I assure you. I’ve been told you’re the man to talk to about the Egg of Purus.”

“You from Earth?”

“My, my detective, figuring out all my secrets already. Indeed I am. And as the egg is technically property of my government, you can understand why we are so invested in its protection. We have it on good authority that someone is going to attempt to steal it while it’s here, and I’m sure you’d agree we simply cannot condone that.” The man gave another little chuckle and flashed his smile again. “How embarrassing that would be, for all of us! Imagine me returning to Earth to explain that...no, no that simply wouldn’t do. So if you can just give me the details for the egg's protection, I can be on my way.”

“Now Mr...ah…” 

“Rose. Duke Rose. Technically special agent Duke Rose,” the man helpfully supplied, with a wink. 

Juno did his best not to blush. “Yes, Mr. Rose. I’m sure you understand I can’t just give out that kind of information to anyone who comes waltzing into my office. But I assure you, the egg will be perfectly secure.”

“Please detective, call me Duke. And, you certainly seem to have things well in hand. But perhaps, to put my mind at ease, we could meet later to discuss the safety measures. Just so I can check off all the boxes and send a report back to Earth. The joys of bureaucracy. I’m sure you understand. Dinner? 7:00? I know the perfect place.”

“I...ah..” This time the blush was firmly planted on his cheeks, and didn't appear to be going away anytime soon. “Sure.” 

“Well then detective, I shall see you this evening.” With that, Duke Rose whirled out of the room, leaving Juno and his dangerously fast pounding heart in awe as Rita made her way through the door.

“Well, well, WELL. That was quite the fellow, wouldn’t you say Mr. Steel?” Rita gave Juno a knowing look.

Juno huffed. “Yeah I guess if you go in for that sort of thing.”

“What sort of thing? Being beautiful? And did I hear you plan a dinner date with him? Whatever happened to not mixing business with pleasure?”

“Shouldn't you be doing something productive, Rita? You know, like your job?” Juno said, rolling his eyes. “Besides, it’s not a date date. We’re just discussing the case.” She did have a point though. Despite what he said out loud, the near cardiac arrest he experienced merely in Rose’s presence suggested he might be hoping for more than just business from this arrangement. But tangling feelings up with detective work never ended well. It couldn’t hurt to do a little more research on the mystery man. “Maybe you could check him out though. Check his credentials and make sure he is who he says.” 

“Whatever you say boss,” Rita said as she turned to leave. “OH, I almost forgot here are those details about the security team that you asked me for and also I'm pretty sure you were supposed to meet Cass in her office about ten minutes ago."

“Goddammit.”

Cass’s office was in the Casa Kanagawa Hotel across town. Known for their stream shows, the hotels offered a base of operations in numerous cities across countless planets so the Kanagawas could film anywhere with all the comforts of home. A quick jog across town, up three flights of stairs, and one knock on the door later, and Juno was standing and panting loudly in the office of one Cassandra Kanagawa. 

“Hey Cass."

“You’re late Steel. I’m not paying you to be late. Technically, I’m not even paying you. I’m paying your boss. And if he has the nerve to think that I am some know-nothing client who he can sideline while he goes off and does whatever the hell he deems more important, then-”

"He’ll be here, alright, so just relax,” Juno cut her off before Cass could get too far into her rant, for his safety and for the safety of all her employees working on the set up for the show. Once Cass got going, she could be deadly to anyone within a five mile radius. “I talked to him and we agreed, this is too important for him not to have his personal touch. I’ll book him a room here in the hotel, and he’ll be here tomorrow well before the egg arrives”

This knowledge placated her at least slightly and a fragment of the tension in her shoulders released. “Well good. Dad’s letting me do this project but he and Min will kill me if I let our family name be blemished by some bumbling detective. And this means more to me than just some new show Steel. This is my dream. I need this premier to go well and I won’t have the show overshadowed by some missing gem. I’m not going to let you mess this up Steel.” And the anger was back. She was looking him dead in the eyes with her finger so close to his face he was going cross-eyed. 

Honestly, the lack of trust at this point was almost insulting. “Come on, Cass. Have I ever let you down?”

“Repeatedly.” 

“Yeah well…. Look you've got all the security details. As discussed, we will be using a decoy. The empty lock box will be transported via your heavily armed private security team for all the world to see and for anyone who wants to steal it to take a crack at it. Meanwhile the real egg will be in a different lock box in my possession transported without any fireworks but unbeknownst to anyone else. Everyone will be looking in one place, and the egg will be somewhere else. It's basic sleight of hand. Now, look I gotta go. Look over the plan again if you want. The plan you already signed off on, I might add. But I got this. I swear.”

Cass’s glare intensified. “Yeah Juno. I hope so.”

That made two of them.


	3. Steel Alive...For Now

It was 7:30, and Juno was trying his best not to be disappointed. Despite what he had told Rita about it not being a real date, he had put on the gown that showed off his curves in just the right way and even put on some makeup to finish off the look. There was still hope, of course. Maybe Rose had just gotten tied up in a business meeting somewhere and was rushing over to sweep him off his feet. A nice fantasy, but Juno had never been the hopeful type. 

The truth of what was detaining Duke was a little more complicated than Juno could have guessed. After his meeting with Cass and the lovely Detective Steel, Duke (or to be more accurate, the man currently calling himself Duke Rose) had gone back to his hotel room in what could politely be considered 'not the best part of town.' The meeting had gone better than he could have ever hoped considering the detective on the case seemed to be too clever for his own good, and it wouldn’t be easy to fool the Kanagawas once they got involved. With their resources and pull, he had to ensure that his cover was absolutely foolproof. The perfect backstory. The perfect fake ID. The perfect amount of charm to make sure no one looked too closely or followed up on said cover story. 

But he could focus on the Kanagawas later. Currently his focus needed to be on the obstacle at the present: Detective Juno Steel. And what an obstacle he was. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to dwell on the detective's soft looking lips or intelligent eyes. He had a heist to plan. A heist that didn't involve being distracted by feelings for the one person between him and his payday. 

His research showed that the Glass Detective Agency was renowned across the galaxy for their successes in everything from domestic disputes, to missing relatives, to private security. Yet he couldn’t find any trace of the infamous Detective Glass himself anywhere. He had managed to solve case after case and Detective Steel’s face showed up from time to time, but no sign of Glass. Not even the back of a head or an arm with the rest of the body cropped out of a photo. Something about the detective didn’t, add up and it left an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

He was so wrapped up in thinking about Juno Steel’s boss that he almost didn't notice the faint rustle that came from inside the room as he put the key in the door. He slipped the knife out of his back pocket, and burst into the room. 

"Hello Ransom. Is that any way to greet your old friend?" 

Friend was much too nice of a word. Sitting on the bed was Miasma. He had only met her once before, when she had attempted to steal the egg the last time it made its way into the public eye. Both she and Peter Ransom (the name he was going by at the time) were too late and the Earth government had swooped in before either of them could get their hands on it. But even from that one interaction, he knew she was dangerous. 

Three previous owners of the egg that she desperately wanted to get her hands on. Three dead bodies. If you believed the gossip through the thief grapevine, Miasma had killed every single one of them. The reason as to why she didn’t grab the egg right then and there were unclear. Some said the police or other interfering parties showed up before she could snatch it. Some said that Miasma was afraid to touch the egg due to some supposed ancient curse. Some said she simply wanted to kill those who dared to possess it but didn’t have any use of it herself.

Whatever the reason, Miasma wanted the egg now. And she would stop at nothing to get it. 

Ransom lowered the knife but kept it out. One could never be too careful. “Well Miasma, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I know that you are after the egg, thief.” She spat out the last word as if it were the most disgusting thing she had heard of. As if she weren’t here for the same reason he was.

“I suggest you cease your meddling. I will have what I want. I may not know your real name, thief. No one does. But do not doubt my ability to find you. I will hunt you down. I will you gut you. Do not dare to cross me." Ransom didn’t scare easily, but her voice sent a shiver down his spine. The dim light caused her pale skin to look almost inhuman, and he did not doubt her abilities to do as she threatened “I left you a gift in your closet. A reminder of what happens to those who have what I want.”

She slid out of the room and Ransom waited five more minutes before approaching the closet. He wished he hadn’t. Hanging on the hook on the backside of the door was the dead body of Croesus Kanagawa. 

Well. This certainly complicated things. And worst of all, it looked like he was going to miss his date.


	4. Steel At Your Service

Juno Steel was having a very bad day. Agent Rose had stood him up last night. Figures, a secret agent from Earth probably had better things to do than have dinner with a nobody PI from Mars. Still...not surprising, but...disappointing. Luckily he woke up this morning with plenty of other problems to keep his mind occupied and not focused on his nonexistent love life.

Croesus Kanagawa was dead. 

His body had been found in his office early this morning by a cleaning crew. They had walked in to get the trash and found Croesus slumped over his desk with his throat cut wide open. 

Juno Steel was no stranger to dead bodies. One of the perks of being a private eye in a city like Hyperion was that you couldn’t go more than a couple weeks without one showing up at your doorstep. But whoever did this was unlike anyone Juno had run across before. Killing the head of a family like the Kanagawas was a bold move. Putting the dead body in the hotel that said family owned was on another level altogether. 

The talking to he had gotten from Cassandra this morning had left a ringing in his ear he wouldn’t soon forget. And now he had a murder to solve along with a priceless artifact. All of that on top of keeping up the appearance of a boss who didn’t exist. 

Fortunately the last one was practically taken care of. Rex Glass’s room was booked here in the hotel and Cass was placated on that front at least. He’d have Rita call the hotel later looking for Glass when Cass was sure to be in the lobby, solidifying his presence nearby in her mind. 

As for the murder, clearly whoever had murdered Croesus was after the egg. But why murder him when the egg wasn’t even due to arrive for a few more hours? And why leave the body in the office? It was clear whoever had managed to get the jump on Croesus hadn’t done it in the same office the body was found. There was hardly any blood to be found except the stuff on the body. So why move it? To send a message perhaps. But to who? Juno walked down the hall from Croesus’s office to the lobby, his mind swirling with far more questions that he had answers to. But the figure of one dashing man standing in the lobby cut through the turmoil going on his brain. Across the room, standing by the bar, was Duke Rose.

He waved to Juno with a dazzling smile on his face. And that made Juno furious. The nerve- THE NERVE- of that man. He stood up Juno Steel and now he had the nerve to smile about it and give a little wave. Juno was not going to stand for this. He’d wipe that smile of his face even if he had to punch it off. 

“Why hello detective. Good to see you again. Care for a drink?”

“A drink? Yeah a drink sounds pretty good right about now. It sounded pretty good last night too when you were supposed to be taking me out to dinner.” 

“Ah yes our dinner plans. I do sincerely apologize for that detective. Some business I had to take care of showed up unexpectedly at my door last evening, and I simply could not get away. Believe me, Juno. I would have much rather been with you.”

Rose’s smile looked sincere enough and looking into his face made it hard to not want to forgive him immediately. Beside his detective skills, Juno was best known for his stubbornness. But maybe just this once he could be a little lenient. 

“I guess a drink doesn’t sound so bad.” Juno kept the pout on his face but he sat down at the bar stool next to Rose.

“Excellent. In order to make up for my rudeness last night, let me buy.”

“That’s fine with me Rose, but I hope government employees on Earth make good money or you’re going to regret that offer.”

Rose chuckled, and it was one of the best sounds Juno had ever heard. “I highly doubt that detective. At the very least I get to enjoy your company. I just hope your boss doesn’t mind you drinking on the job.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that. I doubt Detective Glass will be making an appearance any time soon.”

“Oh?” Rose tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. “I would have thought with a big case like this Mr. Glass would be all over it. Not that I’m doubting your abilities, of course. It just seems odd not to get involved.”

“He’s involved. Definitely involved. But his presence will be felt rather than seen. He functions better in an advisory capacity.”

“He certainly seems very hands off all things considered. Although he’s running this operation, I feel as though I don’t know a thing about him.”

“What’s there to know? Rex Glass is an amazing detective and all around great guy. The most honest, upstanding, generous man I could possibly imagine.” Juno allowed himself a little smile at those words and polished off his drink. “Now if you’ll excuse me Glass, I’ve got a murder to solve and an egg to deliver. See you around.”

“Certainly detective.” 

-

Rose watched as Juno marched off towards the exit. It was a shame. He would have liked to have spent more time in the good detective’s company. He would also have liked more information.

He had hoped talking with Juno would give him a better sense of Detective Glass’s role in the egg’s protection, but it appeared that the detective was going to remain as elusive as ever.

He was still looking at the door that Juno had just exited out of when Miasma happened to walk through them. She spotted him right away and then her gaze drifted across the room to where Cassandra Kanagawa was standing. Miasma was undoubtedly here to kill at least one of them, if not both, so he made his way over to Cass.

“Miss Kanagawa. Pleasure to meet your acquaintance at last. I’m-”

“Detective Rex Glass?” Cassandra cut him off mid-sentence. “I saw you with Juno earlier. I have to say so far I’m not too impressed with your services.”

From the corner of his eye, Rose could see Miasma coming this way. If he didn’t act soon both he and Ms. Kanagawa could be in serious trouble. Playing along seemed to be the fastest way to get them out of trouble. Lying about his name certainly wasn’t new. And honestly it hardly even counted as a lie since she was the one who suggested it in the first place. 

“Yes that’s me. Detective Glass, at your service. Perhaps we could chat while we head to my room? I’m dying to rest up a bit before the egg arrives.”

He steered her towards the elevator, and he barely had time to see the rage on Miasma’s face before they were out of sight. 

“Finally. I can’t believe it’s taken us this long to meet. I was beginning to think you didn’t exist!” An interesting thought. Rose filed it away for later consideration as Cass chuckled. 

“I mean really detective. I’ve never even heard your voice until now and it took so long for us to meet, you can’t blame me for being a little nervous. I have faith in Juno, of course, but, I mean look what he let happened. Dad’s dead and with the egg arriving today, can you blame me for being a bit apprehensive?”

“Happy to ease your fears Ms. Kanagawa.” The elevator had arrived and as they got in, Rose realized he had no idea where he was going. Luckily, Cass was standing closer to the buttons than he was.

“Floor 8 right? Juno said you’re in 813. I’m going to hop out on 3. I’ve got some paperwork in my office.” Cass pressed the buttons and they rode the rest of the way in silence.

After she got out, Rose figured he might as well check out the good detective’s room since Cass had so thoughtfully provided the number. Perhaps it would offer more clues to the detective than Juno had.

Picking the lock on the door was easy enough and Rose wasted no time searching for clues. In the closet he found shirts and pants that were in immaculate condition- no missing buttons, no loose threads, no creases or wrinkles, not even a fleck of dandruff. The shoes on the floor had no evidence of wearing of the soles and the treads were so spotless they looked as though they had never touched the ground. He checked the comb in the bathroom and couldn’t find even one hair stuck between its bristles.

A man no one had ever seen or heard from. Clothes that had never been used. A hotel room no one was staying in. Rose looked up and found his reflection staring back at the mirror. The pieces were finally clicking into place. He had been a lot of things throughout his lifetime but never a detective. Well, there was a first time for everything and the name Rex Glass that suited him just fine. 

After all, what was a man without a name supposed to do when he just so happened to stumble upon a name without a body?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter to anyone celebrating that today!


	5. Thou Shalt Not Steel

Thankfully, the arrival of the Egg of Purus went down without any major disasters. It had arrived exactly on time exactly where it was supposed to be, and the armed guards had taken the empty lock box while Juno had taken the real egg. 

He managed to deliver it safely to the hotel, where the press was waiting. Thousands of photos tied together with Cass's interviews meant that the promotion for her new show was off to a good start. After a couple tedious hours later, the press conference was finished meaning Juno's job was practically over. The egg was now sitting securely in the uncrackable Kanagawa safe and, considering the amount of security the Kanagawas had guarding it, Juno didn't have to worry any more about it getting stolen.

He made his way to Cass’s office to let her know everything was set, only to find she was already talking to someone else.

“Ah, Steel. There you are. I was just telling Mr. Glass here what a fine job you did keeping my egg safe,” Cass said, patting the well-dressed man on the back.

“...Mr...Glass…”

“Yeah Steel. What’s the matter? You look like you don’t even recognize your own boss.”

The problem was that Juno did recognize him. He was the man Juno knew as Duke Rose.

Juno should have known. In the long run, there was no way that creating a fake boss wasn’t going to blow up in his face. After all, he was Juno Steel. The screw up. The mistake maker. The all-around idiot. And creating a fake person was not an easy task. He knew that before he started this whole mess. There were taxes to be paid, people to call, clothes, a car, and an apartment to buy, all for someone who was never going to use them. In other words, an endless list of shit he could screw up. But in all the scenarios that he had considered where this went south, a supposed government official who had been buying Juno drinks at the bar only hours ago claiming to be his boss and talking to his friend about the million dollar Egg she had in her possession was not one of the scenarios he had pictured. 

If this impostor was nervous about being exposed, his face gave nothing away. His smile never even faltered. Then again, he was probably smart enough to realize that Steel would have to play along or look like an idiot. 

“Of course I recognize him, Cass. I’m not an idiot. I just wasn’t expecting him until later.”

“Well, Mr.Glass and I have some business to discuss so we’ll see you later, alright Steel?” Cass said, already pushing Juno out the door. For a minute, Juno thought he should protest. After all, leaving Cass in the hands of the unknown man could be dangerous. But she could handle herself, and what better time to get some information than when the man in question was definitely occupied. 

He pulled out his comms and made a quick call. “Hey Rita. You found anything about Duke Rose yet?” 

“Funny you should ask, boss. I was just thinking I better give you a call because this Duke Rose fellow is certainly a strange case ‘cuz at first when I was looking him up, I couldn’t find anything about him so I figured ya know maybe he wasn’t working for the inter-planet relations part of the government that I would expect to be in charge of overseeing this kind of thing, maybe he was working for a side branch or something that deals exclusively with these kinds of artifacts but hey they still should have some sort of record of him so I started really digging and- “

“Please get to the point Rita. Are you saying Rose doesn’t work for Earth?”

“Not only that, boss, but this guy doesn’t have any sort of record at all. It’s like he doesn’t exist at all.”

Excellent. “Thanks Rita.” Time to do some sleuthing of his own. 

After sweet-talking the desk clerk, Juno managed to find out that Duke Rose hadn’t rented a room at all. In fact, the only person matching that description was Rex Glass, who had come to the desk because he had misplaced his key and needed a new one. In other words, not only was ‘Duke Rose’ masquerading as Rex Glass, but he was staying in his room as well. The nerve of this guy. Juno would be impressed by his cleverness if the urge to strangle him wasn't becoming stronger by the minute.

Ten minutes later and after a little magic with a lock pick, Juno was standing in the room of the mysterious stranger. Five more minutes and Juno had opened the bag sitting in the closet and found solid evidence that Duke Rose wasn’t the man he claimed to be. The stack of passports sitting in the nearly empty suitcase did not bode well for the case. Or for Juno’s love life. Duke Rose. Peter Ransom. Perseus Shah. Whoever he was, he seemed to have a penchant for colorful names. Each new name belonged to someone with Duke Rose’s face from a different star system. 

A familiar voice in the hallway and the jiggling of the door knob meant his investigation was coming to an abrupt end. Juno hadn’t learned much, but he had gotten enough to know whoever Duke Rose is, he was likely a dangerous individual. The only exits from the hotel room was the front door that was likely to swing open any second, and the window. Juno didn’t relish the idea of plunging eight stories to his death but at least it would avoid confrontation. Maybe he’d get lucky and land on a fire escape or something.

Unfortunately, Juno was about 20 seconds too late. “Detective, what on Earth are you doing climbing out my window? Unless you are climbing in, in which case, please do come in.” 

“Hate to break it to you Rose, or whoever you really are, but we aren’t on Earth.” Going out the window at this point seemed useless, so Juno shimmied his way back into the room. “I’m not playing any more games, alright? I want you to tell me who the hell you are.”

“Now detective, I thought you liked a little mystery.”

Juno was reaching his limit. “I said no more games! What even is your plan here? The real Rex Glass will be here any minute now and expose you for the fraud you are.” A blatant lie, but hopefully the thief wouldn’t know that.

Unfortunately, he did, in fact, know that. “Now detective, you and I both know that’s not likely. A private investigator who no one has ever seen or talked to? No evidence of any mailing address or legal issues that I can find. Either this man lives the quietest life imaginable, which I imagine would be hard to do as an investigator, or he simply doesn’t exist. My conclusion? I highly doubt this Mr. Glass will be joining us this evening.” 

“So. What’s your plan here? You’re here to steal the egg obviously. But you haven’t yet. Probably killed Croesus to get at it. Undoubtedly masquerading as Glass was your way of getting the security details. Meaning you knew the plan and had the opportunity to take it. So why haven’t you?”

Glass smiled to himself. “My Juno, you are quite an impressive investigator. I admit, I am here to steal the egg, but you’re incorrect in assuming I had anything to do with Croesus’s death. That was another party interested in the egg. That’s also the reason I haven’t taken the egg for myself yet.”

Juno snorted. “Yeah right. Like I can believe a word you’re saying.”

“Believe it or don't, detective. That’s up to you. But unless we do something, Miasma will get her hands on that Egg. And I wouldn’t be surprised if she killed a few more people to do it. Not to mention that if you turn me in now, Cass will find out you were lying when you told her I was Rex Glass. And I can’t imagine she’ll be too pleased.”

His mind told him not to trust him. Every word out of the thief’s mouth so far had been a lie. Yet…he had a point. Juno didn’t have to trust him, but he did have to keep the egg safe until tomorrow when it was scheduled to be flown back to Earth.

“Fine. I don’t like it but fine. But you are not getting your hands on this egg, you hear me? One step out of line and I’ll turn you over to the authorities. The agency’s reputation be damned.”

“Understood, detective. A temporary truce then. I promise you, I will not go after the egg until it is safely out of your hands.”

He looked sincere but it was hard to tell. Only one way to really know. “So, ‘Glass', what’s the plan?”


	6. Caught in a Steel Trap

To catch a monster, you have to be a monster. Or at least, that’s what Juno was telling himself. He had signed up to work with a man he certainly couldn’t trust. And his punishment for that was apparently dragging around Croesus Kanagawa’s dead body. Juno didn’t have many friends left in the HCPD but a couple of creds could make you some temporary friends real quick. Friends who were willing to look the other way as you took the body of one of the town’s most influential members across the city and put it in the bed of Rex Glass.

The plan was simple. Glass was in the lobby waiting for Miasma to appear. When she did, he’d lure her up to his room with the promise that he had the specs for the safe that was currently housing the egg. Juno was hiding in the closet with a recording device. She’d come up to the room, see the body, be all confused, and admit what she’d killed him. He and Glass would overpower her and take her and the recording to the police. Easy.

... Only everything didn’t go exactly according to plan. From his spot in the closet, Juno heard Glass opening the door.

The voice that spoke was gravelly and unnerving, so he knew it must be Miasma's. "What is this? I left that in your room, thief."

That was enough of a confession for him, so Juno jumped out of the closet.

Miasma reacted faster than he expected. She whipped out a knife and was holding it to Glass's throat before he even had time to blink. 

"Now...no sudden movements. Unless you want to add another dead body to your collection." Her eyes flickered over to Croesus on the bed. The knife she was holding looked sharp. 

Juno had to act fast. He couldn't let someone else die over this stupid egg. Then he realized. The Egg. "I thought you wanted the egg, Miasma. You kill him and you'll never get your hands on it."

"I wouldn't be too sure," she sneered. 

"Well maybe I can make it easy for you. Let go of my friend there and I'll give you the combination to the safe holding the egg. I've got the combination in that drawer." He gestured to the nightstand. 

Miasma smiled, if you could call it that. "How about you get me the combination, and I consider not killing the thief."

"Not getting killed is high on my list of things to do today" Glass gasped. 

Juno made his way to the nightstand. He opened up the drawer and there it was. Juno had worked with the Kanagawas before, and if there was one thing he knew, it was that no member of the Kanagawa family would choose to be in a room that didn't have at least one gun within reach. Which meant that the nightstand on the left side of the bed of every room in every hotel in the Kanagawa empire contained a blaster. He pulled it out of the drawer, spun, and hit Miasma directly in the head. She hit the ground with a dull thud. 

Glass rubbed his throat. "Thank you detective. That was a bit closer than I would have preferred. You are quite the shot." 

Juno tried not to let his words affect him, but he couldn't help the pride that rose in his chest.

"Guess I ought to call HCPD then. They'll be wanting their body back." Juno nudged the body on the floor with his foot. "And they can take Miasma here as a gift." 

"That is my cue to make myself scarce, I'm afraid." Glass turned towards the door, but Juno stopped him.

"Hold on a minute, Glass. There's something that still doesn't make sense."

"Oh?"

"Miasma said she left Croesus in your room. How the hell did he get to the hotel the first time?"

"I'm afraid that was my doing. You know I can't resist doing things with a little bit of flare. I didn't want the police to look too closely at my hotel room, and, besides, I figured leaving a dead body some place for you to find would be a good way to get your attention. I knew we'd work well as partners, detective."

With those words and a final wink, he slipped out of the room. 

Juno looked back at the two motionless bodies. Cass was going to kill him for sure this time.

-

Dealing with the police had never been his favorite thing. Not when he was a kid, not when he was on the force, and not once he left it. 

But he'd take the police over having to explain to Cass why her dead father's body was in his boss's hotel room any day.

Many hours of shouting and death threats later, and Juno was finally able to trudge up the stairs to his apartment. He knew he had at least a couple bottles of booze squirreled away that were calling his name.

He opened the door, only to find his room was already occupied.

“What the hell are you doing here, Glass? Come here to kill me for getting in your way of the gem?”

“Now detective, is it really so impossible to believe that I’m only here because I actually enjoy spending time with you. You said it yourself, the egg is out of your hands at this point and since I am here with you, they are clearly out of mine!”

Juno knew he shouldn’t trust him. He knew nothing about him except that he was a self-proclaimed thief. And yet...Juno grabbed Glass’s face and brought him into a kiss. He allowed himself to melt into his arms and into the bed. This thief had stolen his heart and if he planned on stealing anything else, well, that could wait until tomorrow. 

-

The phone was ringing. It had been ringing nonstop for almost ten minutes now but Juno couldn’t bring himself to answer it. He already knew what the call was about. He had woken up that morning but instead of Rex Glass’s slender body next to him, all that was left was a note. “See you around, Juno Steel. Working with you was the adventure of a lifetime, and I do hope we can do it again soon”. Signed by Peter Nureyev. True to his word, Nureyev had waited until the egg had passed from the Kanagawa’s hands to the hands of the next owner. So technically, the glass detective agency was off the hook. That at least was a blessing, but it did nothing to change the way Juno’s heart was aching. 

Juno steel walked into his office that morning, knowing Nureyev would be long gone. He took a long look around the room. The only evidence that Peter Nureyev had left behind was the scent of his cologne, and even that was already fading. Rex Glass was a myth once more, but Juno wouldn’t soon forget the man who brought his myth to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it! I know the overlap of people who have listened to the Penumbra Podcast and have seen the tv show Remington Steele has got to be pretty small so thank you to everyone who enjoyed this very niche fic!


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